An interesting question? Recently my family and I have learned that my Grandmother has less than 12 months to live. It’s been an interesting week. I have never paid so much attention to her stats and vitals, and I’m still struggling with the questions she’s asking me.
Today was a little busy. She had made up her mind that she wanted to start taking care of things because her nosy roomie at the hospital would be away all day for tests. So upon her request, I called her lawyer so she could make changes to her will. He said he’d come later in the morning, which was great. We then struggled with breakfast and talked about whether she would do some exercises today. Thankfully O.T. showed up minutes later and talked her into a walk down the hall and back with a walker.
She spent time with her lawyer, and felt good to get that squared away, however within minutes Palliative Care showed up. I use to work in Palliative Care, but when it’s your own family, it’s a very different story. She was so upset when they came in, it was the worst timing. I’m just glad I was there this time to help her out. I just hope they’re patient and let her make the decisions in her own time and way.
I’m still struggling to find a balance with everything that’s happening. I’m trying to do what I can for my Grandmother, I’m trying to be available to my Mother, I’m trying to work and do my job and help to keep the staff happy and it’s all a little much some days.
But with Grandma being sick I’ve had a lot of time to think. Why am I in the rat race? I like my job, but sometimes the stress is too much and I want to escape. I cherish my freedom. I love the person I become when I’m traveling and free. But working means that person has to hide for long periods of time. I’m not 88 like my Grandmother. I’m still young, I still have time to live my life. Maybe it’s time to do some planning…
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